So..lately I've been thinking about so much. I haven’t had a really great year and been going through a lot. First off I'm living with my aunt now, because my family and I lost our home :c We were going through financial issues because my mom was finding it hard to find a job after being laid off and my dad unfortunately had a heart attack and wasn't able to work anymore. I wanted to work to help but at the time I was already in college Full time. So the only income we had were savings; etc.
I'm not trying to complain nor feel sorry for myself....this is the opposite, I am so grateful for so many things going on right now. Yes I terribly miss having my own room and home; a place where I can really be me and do whatever. But I'm grateful for my aunt that lets me stay here and try to get a job to move forward, I'm grateful for the time I get to grow and think a lot to mature and find who I really am. I unfortunately can't continue school until I save money which puts me down a lot because I'm the type to have plans and not want to waste time. Be productive. But it’ll be okay.
The reason I'm writing this is because even though I'm down in the dumps. Going through huge family problems (I can't state on here because they are very personal and hurtful)..even if I'm going through all this, I know I will make it out. I BELIEVE that there is something Huge and Amazing out there for me. It's been difficult for me to make up my mind on what I want to do in life.
I love to sing I LOVE IT, I can do it for hours and I do like to write songs sometimes, but I feel like my voice is not the best lol. Second, I have wanted to get a bachelor’s degree in Graphic Design because I love it! I love Photoshop and being creative. Since I was little I've always seen myself doing something artistic! My plan as I was younger was a designer. When I found graphic design I thought of a clothing line of graphic t-shirts and I have some ideas ^_^. Third I love taking photos I thinks it’s super fun but don't have a camera. :c Forth I love the music industry I love the atmosphere in Warped Tour! I wish I can work with artist or merch people and have fun while working. I want so much. It's like what I want to do is in a bunch. And I'm having trouble.
What I want to vent and get out of all this is that, I will find out and if I have to I'll do them all! And I want to be able to inspire others that the girl that was struggling, the girl that was suffering and crying a lot because sometimes she felt that she wouldn't be able to do what she wanted in life did do it, did succeed and is now living her dreams! I will spark... as cheesy as it sounds, I will do what I want in life. And I want others to know that even if I'm in my current reality and even if you are in your current reality you can do it too! We can do it together. Anything is possible in my mind. Thanks to my mom she raised me to be a dreamer. And I know this is long but it's a message to everyone that is feeling down and feeling that they are worthless. You’re not. You will get through it. It might take time and it might seem foggy like where I'm at but it'll be okay. Thanks for reading. C: